ani difranco
ani difranco was a part of every young queer girl's awakening in the nineties. looking back, it is wild to think of the bi erasure that she endured - she sang about being with women and then married a dude, but got dragged by the lesbian community for it. I remember her saying basically, I never said I was a lesbian, they did. I also remember my first ani cd, from another queer girl, and it changed my little heart forever.
now I am 45, and desperately trying to grow a tight little queer group of friends. a shocking thing is happening - almost every young queer person I meet has never heard of ani. and look, I don't hold her on some high pedestal. I know she made some questionable decisions through her career, but she still is a ridicously talented musician and poet and queer icon. also! she was a little lady indie artist that never signed with a label, but instead, created her own from peddling tapes out of her car after shows in bars. the woman ultimately built a fucking empire, all while playing her guitar with her fake press on nails held on with electrical tape.
three favorite memories involving ani difranco: 1) seeing her at meadowbrook ampitheater and a ton of other hippie kids from my school happened to be there as well. one of them gave me her ticket with better seats, but made me promise to come find her for joyful girl. really security could care less and everyone was down in front, and next thing you know a total dork from our school was hollering shit like, "let your wings out pretty butterfly mama!" and ani basically told him to shut up, like she used to be known to do at shows. 2) I emailed michael moore to tell him that I was a longtime fan of his (and from flint as well) and that he should listen to ani. this was when she had just released the 9/11 spoken word song, self evident. he replied to me that he loved ani, and was friends with her! 3) when my (recent) ex started listening to her, even though it was a newer album (which was never a favorite place of mine for anyone to start), it still warmed my fucking heart to have him play her music. especially while cleaning on a sunday morning and the sun was shining and the cats were lounging.
the pesky heartbreak over that ex is also why I have been playing old ani tracks on repeat (shout out to my neighbors). I am a lesbian, but was bisexual for a very long time, and if anyone were to torture me for more truth, it is not hard to get that my feelings for him are still deep. ani had to put up with the bullying and pushback from queers, all for being with a man. I hope that today's queer community is more understanding of our fluidity. I mean, it was my queer friends that told me it is totally possible to be a lesbian and still be in love with a man. but not so long ago, our queer community would also push me out of every lesbian space for that truth, so hesitant optimism, I guess.